My Heart

Pieces of my heart left on the train this morning. The house is eerily quiet. The feelings I have are much like the ones I had on the night before returning to work after maternity leave. Same tears. Same stomach knots. I know they will be fine. But I am going to miss them soooooo much.

The train is carrying my sons and my mom. They are headed to Camp Grandma. They will have a wonderful time.

I relaxed a bit when I knew that a family from our church was going to be on the same train, in the same car. Not sure why that helped, but it really did.

I have tons on my to-do list that I want to transfer to my ta-da list, but this may be too different for me to get anything done.

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Now it is morning. The sun is shining. And I remembered Lamentations 3: 22-23: "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, but his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."I feel like that now.

The boys were ready for this. The years of being with them have helped get them ready for this. They were happy. They gave hugs and kisses. They had no tears. They only had smiles. And they looked grown up. My tears stayed away when I was with them. I wanted our send off to be happy, about them, not about me. But now I can tell you, those tears are free flowing.

Love you, have fun, see you again when Camp Grandma is finished.